Programs > Joy of Living Meditation Group Program

Series VII – Opening the Heart - Integration

Part I – BRINGING LOVING-KINDNESS AND COMPASSION TO RELATIONSHIPS

Points to Consider
Bringing loving-kindness and compassion of the cushion and into relationships is one of the most challenging and rewarding aspects of the spiritual journey. When we relate to others out of a heartfelt desire for them to be happy, we not only increase our ability to bring happiness to those around us, we also undo the ego-fixation that causes our own suffering.

Questions for Discussion

• How can we apply loving-kindness and compassion in the midst of emotionally-charged situations? What effect is this likely to have?
• If we put others' needs ahead of our own, won't this set us up to always be unhappy?
• What is the difference between co-dependence and loving-kindness and compassion?

Daily Meditation Practice
On the cushion:  Begin each session with a short period of resting in open awareness.  Next, reflect on any recent encounters with friends or loved ones where you felt irritated, letting this remind you of your basic desire to be happy. As you recall any such experiences, offer phrases of loving-kindness to all parties involved: “May we enjoy happiness and its causes.” After a few minutes, let go of these thoughts and simply be aware of the feelings that are present. Close with another period of resting in open awareness.

Off the cushion:  When somebody angers or annoys you, reflect on your desire to be happy and how you share this with the other person.  See if you can offer phrases of loving-kindness to the other person or connect with a felt sense of empathy and notice how this affects your interaction.  If you are still angry, see if you can experience your feelings with kindness toward yourself.

Reading: Joy of Living 105-106; Joyful Wisdom 205-208

Part II – BRINGING LOVING-KINDNESS AND COMPASSION INTO THE WORKPLACE 

Points to Consider
Cultivating loving-kindness and compassion can transform any activity into a deeply meaningful part of the spiritual journey. Our jobs don't need to be anything out of the ordinary to use as a basis for this practice. By imbuing everything we do with a compassionate motivation, even the most mundane situations can become powerful catalysts for a deepening of meditation and an opening of the heart.

Questions for Discussion:

• How might your experience of work be transformed if you view your vocation as an opportunity to cultivate loving-kindness and compassion?
• Do you see much suffering at your workplace? Would your response to this suffering change if you were to cultivate an attitude of loving-kindness and compassion?
• What are some aspects of your job that often trigger emotional responses? How might you approach these situations using the practice of loving-kindness and compassion and how might this change the way you respond?
• What are some practical ways that you can integrate the practice of loving-kindness and compassion with your specific work situation?

Daily Meditation Practice:
On the cushion:  Begin each session with a short period of resting in open awareness.  Next, review your recent activities and notice if there was a time when your heart felt shut down.  As you reconnect with the situation and people involved, remember how we all share the desire to be free from suffering.  Offer the phrase of compassion to all involved: “May we be free from suffering and its causes.” After a few minutes, let go of these thoughts of compassion and simply be aware of the feelings that are present. Close with another period of resting in open awareness.

Off the cushion:  When you encounter someone who is struggling, see if you can stand with them in their pain while wishing that they may be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.

Reading: Joy of Living 178-182, ending at the end of the second paragraph “at the moment”

Part III – FACING CHALLENGES WITH LOVING-KINDNESS AND COMPASSION

Points to Consider
While challenging situations like illness, the loss of a job or a loved one, and problems at home and at work are often the most difficult times to practice meditation, they are also tremendous opportunities to cultivate loving-kindness and compassion. By seeing our own suffering as a mirror for the suffering of the world, we can begin to open our hearts to others at a deeper level and bring meaning to difficult circumstances.

Questions for Discussion

• How can our own experience of suffering help us empathize with the suffering of others?
• When we're in the midst of difficult situations, how can loving-kindness and compassion meditation help us to see difficult situations as opportunities rather than obstacles?
• Think of a challenging situation. How could you bring the practice of loving-kindness and compassion into this particular scenario and what effect do you think it would have?

Daily Meditation Practice
On the cushion: Begin each session with a short period of resting in open awareness. Next, recall a difficult time in your life or something that you are currently experiencing that you find challenging. As you recall the experience, notice the thoughts and feelings that arise and let them remind you of your wish to be free from suffering. Slowly extend this wish to all beings with the thought, "May we all be free from suffering and its causes." After a few minutes, let go of these thoughts and simply be aware of the feelings that are present. Close with another period of resting in open awareness.

Off the cushion:  When you find yourself in a difficult situation, remind yourself of your desire to be happy and form that wish that all beings be free from suffering and its causes.

Reading: Joy of Living 182, beginning with the third paragraph “cultivating loving-kindness and compassion"

Part IV  – LOVING-KINDNESS AND COMPASSION IN DAILY LIFE

Points to Consider
Our daily lives are filled with opportunities to open the heart and respond to the world with loving-kindness and compassion. Any activity, even the most boring and ordinary parts of our daily routines, can be used to open the heart. As our familiarity with the practice of loving-kindness and compassion grows, we gradually learn to imbue everything we do with an open-hearted attitude.

Questions for Discussion

• Think of the most mundane activity that you do every day. How could you use this endeavor as an opportunity to cultivate loving-kindness and compassion? Do you think this will change your experience of the situation?
• How is the practice of loving-kindness and compassion likely to affect activities that you usually do solely for self-centered purposes? Can you think of any examples of such activities and how you could bring them into your practice?
• How does it feel to genuinely wish for someone else's happiness? How can mundane activities help you integrate this attitude with the entirety of your life?

Daily Meditation Practice
On the cushion:  Begin each session with a short period of resting in open awareness. Next, bring to mind an activity that you do as part of your usual routine, but which you find boring. Think of all the other people around the world who are trapped in similar situations, with jobs or lifestyles that they find meaningless. Let a sense of empathy and compassion arise in your being and form the wish that by experiencing this yourself, all other beings will be freed from this form of suffering. After a few minutes, let go of these thoughts and simply be aware of the feelings that are present. Close with another period of resting in open awareness.

Off the cushion:  When you engage in a mundane activity, such as preparing food for a meal, reflect on how you can do this activity as an act of generosity to yourself and others.

Reading: Joy of Living, last paragraph on p. 186